A Gentleman

does more than ask, "did you...you know" after he has caught his breath and removed his sweaty body off of mine

calls

calls back

opens the door--all of them---all the time

meets the friends

meets the family

gives foot massages

holds my hand in public

knows when to let me be coy and when to take me like a man

does what he can to help however he can

gives, not just receives

is romantic, but specifically to me, not just random or half hearted or belated or prompted

has fantastic hygiene

never honks but instead goes to the door as well as walks me back there at the end of the evening

subtly refuses to let me pay for anything but allows me to repay him in other ways

remembers my birthday

remembers silly anniversaries like one month since our second date....eh, not necessary but very impressive as long as it isn't obsessive, just cute

loves me just as i am

never abandons me

is always courting me, even after he already has me

My Circadian Cycle is No Longer Diurnal

I know I like to use big words.


As the formerly popular song goes, "Get get get get get get over it"

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be pissy at you dear reader, please accept my sincerest apology. I am still up and after having quite a fantastic Sunday but I still find myself wanting. Taking it out on you isn't going to help. Maybe I will just veg for a little.

I went to work, made my day's sales during my shift, got to go home two hours early, my boss bought me lunch and I got a ride home. I did sleep through evening service, but then got there in time for dodgeball. Afterwards, I picked up tacos with John and we did our new Sunday post-game ritual of catching a movie. Tonight it was New Moon. After that, John and I went to Walmart where he got Star Trek from the Redbox along with some $1 ice cream for the both of us and we hung out at my apartment til the movei was over.

I enoyed all the man candy in New Moon, but at the same time, it reminded me of what I don't have. I mean that Stephen isn't physically here and I think he is sexy as ...well everyone uses hell which I think is a deceptively sexy only to be soal sucking like some sort of demon so...Stephen is as sexy as a Greek god. And I can't run my fingers down his stomach, squeeze his arms, or have him push me around. Sigh.


So it was good that we saw the action flick afterward. When John left, after about three am I watched some old grey's anatomy on youtube and now here I sit further prolonging my engagement with unconsciousness. I think you are caught up enough. At least, mostly anyway. I suppose you will have to wait for the book to come out for the unabridged version.


Until then, have a good night...er...day, tip your waitresses, and try the veal.

Mmm, how I have missed you...

I am in my underwear and a robe, snuggling under a blanket, sitting in the chair in front of my desk, typing away at a laptop.....sigh.....all I need is an oversized mug of hot cocoa with tons of marshmellows and a friendly chat to keep the incessant pull of the bed behind me at bay.

As long as I hit the hay before the sky lightens, I should be fine.


ANYWAY

So my roommate got a new laptop and said I could use hers. So nice of her. I love that girl. She is so cool. I do have to press a little more intentionally for a few letters, but ow often do I need to use te "h" anyway?

And colons are so overrated.

Besides, everything else that matters, internet, word, online games, was in working order. I sat down about three hours ago to play a fun downloaded game before bed only to begin a quest tat took me from forum to yahoo answers and back. Through programs only true die hard computer officianados use like running "dxdiag" or cpu-z to get the specs. I discovered that the graphics was to blame, and am currently trying the most promising solution. In about 10 minutes I will either be playing Gemini Lost or succumbing to sleep...or maybe making those breakfast tacos.


BUT you didn't anxiously scan my blog page for a new entry only to hear about the joy of troubleshooting my computer, being my own tech support, and low-level graphics application programming interface.

Last week I took my CNA exam and am confident that I passed. I interviewed twice with a local hospital a mere two blocks away from my apartment earlier this week and hope to hear back from them before the upcoming holiday.

The rest of my life is swimming along. For some reason, I informed my manager that if she had to she could give some of my hours away. Why I didn't wait until I had the second job, I don't know. Maybe I was encouraging myself to get out there and get employed sooner. I will be thankful to pay next month's rent, but I have faith that I will. God has brought me this far, and I have yet to start carrying bags along the streets.

I have been asked by a good and successful friend of mine Kitina to write an article for her. Now that I have the laptop up and running I can resort to my most comfortable writing setting. The article will be about Christianity and Mental Health and my story in the midst of the topic.

I have a few thoughts down, nothing solid yet, but have at least strung together a loose outline.


Bah!!! The program is still downloading and I don't want to give up the fight just yet. Breakfast tacos it is. Hopefully I will get a card in the mail for food stamps and be able to keep a steady amount of staples in the apartment for myself. No more dinners consisting of a pot full of rice or spagetti or a party pizza or a handful of animal crackers and ice water. Yea!


Perhaps now you will hear from me more often than before, and maychance I will have more interesting conversation for you. Until then, I'm off to eat and be a computer hero.

I Feel Sexy Today

I just got back from my vacation, which I wrote about in my diary and will mostly be left out of this post. However, it was great not having to work on a Monday, then having class Tuesday. If only I didn't have to work and just had to go to class...

Oh well. I am at the library downtown to fill out some applications online for CNA positions. I wanted to already be working by now, hopefully my classmates didn't get all the good jobs. When I got home, I unpacked, showered, went to church, then went home and slept. I hung out with my roommate then we uncluttered my room. It looks great, which helps me unclutter my mind.

I was offered my first official writing assignment as an adult which makes me a

dum da dum DUM!!!

Writer!


I will be working on it on my class days since those days my head is in a freer state of mind. Perhaps when I am working at a hospital somewhere it will change, I don't know, but right now, life is good.