A fish may love a bird, but where would they live?

My merman has changed, but it doesn't change what God thinks about it all.

Le Sigh!

If I wait for my life to get stable, for things to be less dramafied, I may never experience joy, contentment, hope, love, etc.

The tensions build in me about what to do, and who to do it with, and I know that there seems to be a right thing to do here...but the right thing and the right thing for me may not be the same.  I think I know what's right for me, that thinking almost six years ago got me the in current situation I am in now with Stephen.  Would that thinking take me into a new cycle of the same old same old if I simply pursued Sean?

Stanford doesn't seem as close as it did just a few weeks ago.  I am working more now, taking on about two more shifts a week, but I don't know that it will be enough to pay the bill down by the end of the summer. I am considering just moving to California anyway at the end of my lease here in Illinois and beginning my life there.  I just don't want to bring this unfinished drama with me.