Am I There Yet?

So I put my 2 weeks notice in yesterday. I decided that I wanted to really make an effort to manage my most challenging time of year mental health wise as best as I can. That means not working full time, working a second job on my days off, and going to class two nights a week.

I cross trained over a month ago as a hostess at Cracker Barrel so I can pick up hours as a hostess and in the retail store. I am also going to be really focusing on getting disability benefits. I believe that not being able to maintain a full time job during the spring every year I would make a great candidate for receiving aid. I'm not like corporations and banks that asked for bail out money only to buy tennis courts for the CEO lounge or whatever. With those benefits, I can comfortably work a few days a week and still pay bills and continue to make headway toward going back to Stanford...next year.

Letting go of this job also releases the plan for returning this coming September. Save for some unforseeable and fortunate turn of events in which large sums of money legally become mine, I won't be in a position to pay down the at least 5 grand I would have to pay to maybe get back in. I am starting to get concerned about when I will no longer be able to simply return with a few forms to fill out. There is also of course the concern for how living life instead of constantly being intellectually challenged will affect my academic success. I know once on campus, there are numerous resources available to students to help them do well. I will naturally take advantage of them, all of them. However, the first few days at Stanford, I wondered in amazement at the blessing that lay before me and the sheer favor from God that placed me there. Though I worked hard in high school and had wonderful grades, recommendations, and records, I still did not know how I surpassed thousands of other applicants. When I return, I will have to come to terms with where I fit with my new graduating class and the peers and fellow students that I will share my classes and experiences with.

Anyway, that is the biggest thing that has happened this past week. Still quiet on the southern front. Valentine's Day is fast approaching...I can only wonder at how I will spend it this year.