Decisions

I chose the apt with $303 rent, free internet, and two roommates. I think its a better deal than the other two apts I looked at because its cheaper than both and furnished. I also think living alone like I did last summer may cause me to stay up when I am anxious (a.k.a scared) because I won't have anyone around to validate my reality when I hear bumps in the night or my brain insists on thinking of scary things.

So! I move in in August and when the lease is up, will go home to Texas for about a month. If things haven't been worked out yet between me and Stephen, that will be his last chance unless he explicitly tells me that he no longer wants to be together or have anything to do with me. For right now in my life, I am thinking on this summer time, three jobs, paying off Stanford, Wood Hollow Apts, and check systems so that I can open a Chase bank account.

Because of the two weeks I missed out on work, I had small checks and was not able to cover the check for my therapist this week. I have to pay $30 to Bank of America because they covered the check and I won't have money for this week's session until Thursday when I cash my check instead of deposit it. I am going to have to set up direct deposit for the spherion, and hopefully the summer youth employment jobs, that way I can put those funds into my savings account and use Cracker Barrel for Stanford and Wood Hollow until August rent is due. I am thinking since I may be a CNA and working at $13-$14 an hour full time I may be in a position to get a laptop with a good down payment and a credit account with either best buy or walmart or meijer or wherever. That is certainly a financial goal.

My friend worked four jobs in Washington for a short time and paid off all her credit cards. Once I am done paying off Stanford, if it is a few months before I go back, I may pay off my student loans, just to get them paid and off my back. My credit card debt is already charged off or in collections. As are the other small bills like Bailey's, CPS Energy, medical bills, and I don't know that I have to pay those off anytime soon. It won't be until I need to buy a car for myself. I will buy a car, pay it off, and the whole time ride the bus. Or ride my bike. I have actually noticed a change in my legs and a little overall from riding my bike so much. I will look into refinery since they have a summer flat rate of $140 then $50 a month for a 12 month contract. That seems like the best timeline, they also have body jam which is as close to a hip hop dance class as I may get.

Today in church, Dance 4 Christ performed and it was off the chain! I want to join their group in the fall and take their style of praise dance to Stanford. Right now, I am exploring Christian Hip Hop like Mary Mary "God in Me" and "Get Up". I love the first one right off the bat, and I know there is a lot more out there for me to listen to.

At any rate, I need to start pressing my way to work. I am going to have several days without a full day off, maybe a few weeks, but I am going to have to request Tuesday and Wednesday off so that I have time for the bipolar support group Tuesday evening, therapy Wednesday morning, bible study at 1pm and new member meeting at 6:30pm. I lift my schedule and jobs up to God and pray for the strength of body and clarity of mind to do them all well and arrive on time.


Peace and God be with you.