This Fast is Going Kind of Slowly...

Day 13

I have nearly finished the book Undressed by Jason Illian and have been steadily reading Boundaries in Dating by Drs. Henry McCloud and John Townsend.  Practical, Christian perspectives and Biblical foundations for relationships, dating, and sex.  I appreciate this time of stepping back from boys and getting closer to the Lord on where I stand in all those issues.  Learning from my repeated patterns, mistakes, past, as well as getting to know myself now, I feel confident that I will emerge from the fast stronger in my faith and able to have a healthy relationship.  Encouraged today by a good co-worker of mine and previously by my therapist, I am going to list a few traits and characteristics that I in this moment would look for and adore in a guy:

Christian - attends church regularly, has spiritual disciplines (Bible reading, prayer life), able to both challenge and support me in my faith and growth in faith

Education - ideally college student/graduate

Personae and Such - Not shy, humorous, positive, non-smoker, romantic (ok with pda, has some experience with dating so I don't feel like I am mentoring/tutoring/parenting during the relationship, would write letters to me even though we could [and probably would] text and email), older than me, has a car, job, and career goals (general or specific, as long as there is a desire to aspire), doesn't use foul language, respectful, playful, interested in dating seriously and long term, has a good relationship with his family, has hobbies, likes to (or is willing to) dance, not a heavy drinker, doesn't do drugs, likes video games but not to the exclusion of a social life


I am sure there will be more things to add as the fast, and life, go on.


And now for something completely different!

In Cracker Barrel related news, I happened to have an idea dropped into my kool aid at work today.  During a training course, I found out about Cracker Barrel's Internship Program in which a person is trained for management.  Since our store already has a manager, and I hadn't thought past working as an employee to pay off my Stanford bill, I never thought past getting to a Par IV in retail.  However, after talking with the trainer this afternoon, I realized:

I could be trained for management by this time next year.  The company could pay to relocate me to a store that does need a retail manager, and I would have a next step for life.  Christy, one of my current roommates and a future roommate for next school year, will be graduating and at the moment, I don't see myself living with anyone else here in town after she leaves next year.  Originally, I was going to come back to Lincoln Place apts and have two more random roommates, however, with the management plan, I could have the company relocate me to any of the nearly 600 stores in the country!  I was excited as I thought about being able to move almost anywhere in the country to a salaried position.  Instead of slowly paying off just the Stanford bill, with this plan, I could be paying everything off in the same time I figured it would take to pay off the Stanford bill (almost 5 years).  I would like to return to Stanford before I am 30, or at least by the time I am 30.  With the salaried position with Cracker Barrel, over the next five years, I could pay off all my debts, rebuild my credit, buy a really inexpensive used car and have it paid off by the time I return to the farm.  Not to mention the awesome work experience this will provide me and amazing life experiences.

All that wonderful excitement said, that gives my life a wider scope, a little more meaning in this braided stream of living.  I have something to work toward in terms of my career at Cracker Barrel.  I am not just going to be another employee.  Then, when I am relocated, I get to begin again somewhere new with new people and a new hope that, Lord willing if the creek don't rise, I will not only pay off Stanford, but I will completely be able to turn around my financial situation and proudly return to the farm with my head high and my credit right.  I am delighted about it all.  In the past week or so since I was promoted to a Par III, I had been thinking about what I would do after Christy left and what directions I could take my life.  Moving back home to San Antonio, or to France to be an au pair, Canada to be a CNA, Houston to live with Candace, the bay area to live both closer to Stanford and closer to Lisa...but coming to this idea today, it makes sense and I feel good about it.  So many benefits.  Even though I would be leaving a place I have honestly come to love, I know now that I can just pick up and go somewhere new and God will provide a place to live, a job to work, a church to fellowship, and friends to have.